3 Myths About Marriage

I bet you all are thinking, "What is that topic doing on this blog?" Well, I just thought it'd be good to erase any false assumptions my younger readers have about marriage before they get in a serious relationship. Whether or not we want it this way, we are influenced by the world's viewpoint of love and relationships every day. High expectations fill our minds, and when we start assuming a guy can make us happy and feel secure, bad things happen.

Come read this short and simple post, "3 Myths About Marriage," by Paul Chappell. The counsel given is valuable for now and later, no matter what stage of a relationship you are in. Whether your relationship status is "single," "engaged, " "married," or "it's complicated," take this practical advice from a man of God. Click here to read the blog post.

The Fine Art of Waiting

Everyone I ask agrees: this semester has been a busy one.  The student teachers have material to study and classes to lecture; the staff is already stressed from the conferences we've hosted and the ones looming over the horizon; I'm taking more teaching classes than I've ever thought possible; and GloryBound has traveled almost every weekend!  Although life is continually busy, there are still those times when we feel like we're just sitting around waiting.


Last week Tim and the rest of GloryBound left Saturday at noon and didn't get back until Tuesday afternoon.  This weekend, he left yesterday around lunchtime, came back tonight, and is leaving again tomorrow morning!  Talk about busy.  Being on the other end of the deal, I have to keep myself occupied with activities to keep myself from missing him "too much."  Yes, there is such a thing!


Waiting is a fine art, and a lost one, if you ask me.  Nobody likes to wait, but it's gotten really bad with this "fast-food culture" generation.  Who enjoys waiting more than five minutes for lunch at McDonalds?  Who likes standing in line for two hours to ride the new tallest roller coaster?  Neither do we enjoy waiting long-term for graduation, marriage, or whatever else for which we dream.  There must be a way to wait without completely losing our minds!


Whenever Tim travels over the weekend, I occupy myself with something fun.  I've cut back on "retail therapy" (shopping!!) due to my status as "poor college student," but there are plenty of things to do that are cheaper than a new pair of shoes!  I go to my best friend's house and watch movies, I have lunch with a bunch of girls, or I do the unthinkable and finish some homework. =)  If you find yourself struggling to keep your sanity during your time of waiting, I recommend journaling, blogging, or cartooning your progress through this period of your life.  I've done all three, and they've benefited me beyond words!


I also recommend purposefully not thinking about it.  By choosing to not dwell upon your lot in life, you choose to reject discouragement.  Count your blessings.  Think about how good God has been to you, and you'll soon be on a mountain of blessings you forgot you had!  Most of the time we blow our circumstances way out of proportion, which can lead to a sin called complaining.  The children of Israelites got in trouble for this one on numerous occasions, so don't even go there!


Time flies when you're having fun, someone once said.  In the South, we make friends while waiting in line.  Soon we'll be talking about random things, laughing and carrying on, when all of a sudden it's our turn next and the quick friendship is sadly diminished.  I find that even the longest, loneliest weekends seem shorter when I'm enjoying myself.  When you're facing a long, boring wait in life, learn to enjoy the ride!  After all, getting there is half the fun!  You might not believe me -- but if life is what you make of it, a trial of your patience can transform into a party!  


Basically, the fine art of waiting boils down to these three things: 1) Document your progress -- you'll look back on it later and praise the Lord for everything He taught you.  2) Think happy thoughts and avoid complaining at all costs.  3) Find joy in the journey.  All of these are learned behaviors and do not come naturally, especially when we're so used to whining about every little thing (remember, we live in that fast food culture).  While the flesh tugs at us to murmur and despair, God has something better in mind for us.  Why not look back on this stage in life and think, "You know, at times that wasn't easy, but I really did enjoy it... in a weird kind of way!"  It does seem weird, because it's humanly impossible, but it's yours for the taking through God's goodness and wonderful plan for this part of your journey.

Real Pearls

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. 

"Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?" 

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face. 

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma." 

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace. 

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green. 

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny , "Do you love me?" 

"Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you." 

"Then give me your pearls." 
"Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection , the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite." 

"That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss. 

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny 's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?" 

"Daddy, you know I love you." 

"Then give me your pearls." 
"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll.. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper." 

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." 

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss. 

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style. 

As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek. 
"What is it, Jenny ? What's the matter?" 

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, daddy; this is for you." 

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny ... 

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure. So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures. 

God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place. 

Quote: Overcoming

"The world is full of suffering. It is also full of the overcoming of it. We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world."  -Helen Keller

For more inspiring tidbits, visit IFBKJV.com Quotes and Quips

Counteracting Loneliness

If loneliness is a problem you're facing at this point in life, let's take a look at some antonyms of the word.  The opposite of "loneliness" would be described as companionship, friendship, togetherness.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks like part of your problem could be a lack of companionship!

Last summer I suffered through loneliness as Tim traveled the East Coast with GloryBound, the men's quartet from Heartland.  I had known Tim for years, and I hadn't gone more than three days without seeing him at church.  My buddy got taken away from me for three months!  I went through major withdraws!  Talk about loneliness!

A simple way to counteract this empty feeling is to pour your life into someone else.  While having a girlfriend to ramble with wasn't the same as having Tim around, it did help me tremendously.  I could talk to her about anything, I could cry with her, and I could take her out on "dates" while Tim was busy!  What a blessing it is to have a genuine friend.

The key to friendship is that it is selfless.  Target someone you think could use a friend, and buy her ice cream, play a game together, or have her sleep over.  Invest yourself in her, not to get something out of her, but to add something to her life.  Text her every now and then, email each other funny jokes that have already been forwarded thirty two times, and go shopping together.

You'll find that making yourself busy with the well-fare of someone else will take your mind off how miserable you thought you were.  Loneliness might still rear its ugly head every so often, but it won't be nearly as bad as if you didn't have a friend to counteract it.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. 
Pro 18:24  

Where Is God?

Remember mom taking you grocery shopping when you were a kid?  The only thing in a grocery store that amused me was the automatic coupon dispensers, and I would spend every spare second playing with them.  I was so obsessed with them that I wouldn't even notice if mom meandered into the next aisle.  Remember the fear that gripped you when you turned around and she wasn't there?!  I would instantly panic and start scanning the aisle for her.  To my relief I discovered she still had her eye on me, and wasn't that far away after all. 

Even though most of us don't still break out in cold sweat every time mother leaves our sight, everyone has experienced the fret of loneliness.  At one point Job felt like he couldn't even find God!  In Job 23:2 he cries out, "Oh that I knew where I might find him! that I might come even to his seat!"  Job had gone through quite a bit to come to this point.  He had lost his land, livestock, possessions, children, and health.  Everything he had worked for and dreamed of was gone.  Where was God?  Was He gone too?

It is encouraging to know the end of the story.  God had not left Job for a second; He was with him to the very end.  In fact, after Job went through the refiner's fire, the Lord gave him back everything he had lost, times two! The account of Job is encouraging because if Job was never really alone, we have no reason to think we are either.  Yes, there are times when we contemplate the refining process we are going through and ask, "Where is God?"  The answer is found in Job 23:8-12, namely verse 10.

8 Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him:

9 On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him:

10 But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

11 My foot hath held his steps, his way have I kept, and not declined.

12 Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food.

Even when it looks like you're all alone, don't worry... you're not.  The loneliness inside of you may say, "I'm all alone" but God's Word says, "I will never leave thee" (Hebrews 13:5).  In the above passage from Job, verses 11-12 lay out a simple plan for staying on the right path even when it's hard.  It's called a daily walk with God.  Esteem your time with Him as your most important appointment of the day.  Some say breakfast is the most important meal of the day; Job 23:12 says your daily time with God should take precedence over your necessary food.

The Lord knows the way that you take from the "big picture view."  When meteorologists track a storm, they use satellites and other equipment that provide a bird's eye view.  Which would you trust more, a forecaster who uses weather balloons and in-space cameras, or someone who just looks out the window and says, "Oh look, a hurricane... everybody take cover!"  God sees the big picture, which means we can trust Him!  Even better, He is not an impersonal God who just watches things happening down here on earth; He is intricately involved in every area of your life.  Nothing happens to you without His approval and involvement.  No matter what is going on in your life at this very moment, He is right there with you.